13th May 1515 – How to piss off your brother, the King.

13th May Tudor history fact of the day: 500 years ago today, in 1515, Mary Tudor (Henry VIII’s sister) married Charles Brandon (Henry’s best pal) in secret, without permission in France.

There is evidence to suggest Mary was on love with Brandon from a young age but the king wouldn’t allow them to marry. Being the dick he was, he wanted to choose her husband in order to buy political power and other such bullshit. Anyway, Henry married her to Louis XII, king of France who was an old gipper. He was more than 30 years older than her, but this suited him as he wanted a young wife so he might produce an heir. He died 3 months after their marriage, (much to Mary’s relief I would think). His cause of death was put down to ‘over exertions in the bedchamber’…poor Mary.

Anyway, after a few months, (the French wanted to make sure Mary wasn’t knocked up), Henry sent Brandon to France to bring her home. He must’ve known something would happen cos he told Brandon not to propose. Well that didn’t fly with Brandon and he married Mary before their return. This was an act of treason, punishable by death. Brandon must’ve carried his balls about in a wheelbarrow. On their return to England, Henry VIII was obviously mega pissed off. He didn’t want to execute his sister and best friend so gave them a heavy fine. Like ridiculous. In the end the couple were married for 37 years, untill Mary’s death in 1515. They had 4 kids, (2 died i infancy),and became grandparents to Lady Jane Grey (the 9 day queen). Happy 500th anniversary


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